Sorry that this is coming a little late, but I wasn’t exactly in a huge rush to watch Karmin’s performance. I debated whether or not to even write a review for this “band” since I previously had no idea who the hell they were and have no frame of reference since they haven’t actually released anything. However, I couldn’t bring myself to stay away, so here’s a quick run down of the Karmin.
Again, I need to remind everyone that no matter what they play here will come as a surprise since they have no music. The only artifacts of their existence to this point are a couple of YouTube covers. Which reminds me, wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that everyone was complaining how Lana del Rey had no business as the musical guest because she hadn’t accomplished enough? Now they’re rolling out the red carpet for a YouTube cover band? Yikes. Their song sounds poppy at best, generic at worst for the first sixty seconds or so. That is until the fifty-seven second mark when the song goes over a cliff. Lead singer, Amy Heidemann, who has been successfully playing the part of a way more annoying way less attractive Katy Perry until now, crouches down and goes into what I can only describe to you as a terrible Nicki Minaj parody; a brat rap with the lyrics, “5 minutes, 10 minutes, now it’s been an hour/ I don’t want to think too hard but I’m sour.” Hmmm. I’ve had enough of “Brokenhearted,” especially since everyone else just seems to be standing around and occasionally chiming “ohh ohh.”
“I Told You So”
Holy shit, bring back the “Brokenhearted” performance. This time around we’ve got a wobbling beat, Heidemann in a trench coat for some reason and some more Nicki Minaj impressions. I can safely say this is one of the most embarrassing cases of white people attempting to just be sew dam kewl. It’s excruciating to watch. Nick Noonan (the esteemed better half of this duo) again occupies some space, but this time around in a badass leather jacket and sunglasses. I have no idea what the backup singer is doing with his elbows, but it’s the high point of this video. Heidemann eventually strips herself down into some lyrca tights a sleeveless top. She does her best to fake confidence (as well as accomplishment) with zingers like, “What? You didn’t think I could make it being me?” Again… this is a band that exists entirely on YouTube. I can’t believe any two people could possibly be this big of posers, but, ladies and gentlemen, here you have it. I’d take Ke$ha at this point.
This one pushed me to the brink of my tolerance. I may or may not be back next week for Sleigh Bells. I wish Karmin all the failure in the world. If you get a chance to see Heidemann wink and shout “Yo!,” I’m sure you’ll see where I’m coming from.